If you believe in coincidence, this is a big one. If you don’t believe in coincidence and instead feel that everything happens for a reason, this is a big one. Shortly after I made the decision to move to DC, Ricky and I came down from New York to look at apartments for me. While we were here, he got an email about a temporary, 3 – 5 month job at a law firm in DC that was looking solely for patent lawyers with mechanical engineering degrees. It so happens that Ricky is a patent lawyer with a mechanical engineering degree. It also happens that my DC job is scheduled to last 3 months, so I excitedly told him to apply for the job, which he did. We didn't discuss this as any major milestone or development in our relationship. I just wanted him to keep me company and he just went along with it.
As you’ve probably guessed by now, Ricky got the job. It was officially confirmed yesterday and he starts work this coming Monday. Professionally, it is actually a good move for him. He even got them to pay him more money than they originally offered. So he is moving down to DC and in with me. Wow. Maybe not a big wow for some people, but a big wow for me. I’ve never lived with a boyfriend before, not even temporarily. I am very excited for him to come and am now sure I will enjoy my time in DC. I can now even envision us staying here, if all goes well professionally and of course, personally.
I remember seeing a married couple on Oprah years ago, who had been married for decades. In all of those years, the husband had never seen his wife without makeup on, and didn’t want to. She likewise never wanted him to see her naked face, and so she slept with makeup on and got up before him every morning so she could wash her face and reapply before he woke up. Clearly, they are crazy people. But in a way, we all have our less overtly insane way of keeping parts of ourselves hidden.
I hope that I am ready for the exposure that co-habitation requires. There are things that I normally don’t do in front of Ricky, like poop, fart, eat copious amounts of ice cream and talk to myself. I don’t know how long I will be able to keep those activities under wraps. And what does he do when I’m not around? How much longer will I be able to keep my blog address secret? Are we going to share a hamper? Does that mean we’ll be washing each other’s underwear? Should I buy a cookbook?
It’s wonderful and horrifying all at the same time. The anticipation has become nearly all-consuming. I am trying to envision him in everything I do at home. What will he be doing while I’m putting away groceries? Watching TV? Brushing my teeth? Talking on the phone? Is this the precursor for a life (or a long time, at least) together, or will this be the end of us? Of course it’s too soon to tell. I've been telling everyone "It's only 3 months!" to which my mother said "Famous last words." Yikes! I have to keep reminding myself what I told Ricky: if we wind up hating each other, at least we’ll know. No risk, no reward. Isn’t that what the next level is all about?
4 comments:
i'm not a pert of any kind, real, faux, or shampoo, but i thought i'd respond with a list
1) GUARD YOUR BLOG ADDRESS LIKE TIGER SHOULDA GUARDED HIS CELL PHONE (or used pay-in-advance cell phones he discarded after each ho use) in your situation, a computer that you never use in front of Ricky or that he even knows about
2) at least in the beginning, poop and fart when he's not around or looking (pretend to take out the garbage to fart, I'm sure there's some sporting event that'll keep him distracted for the times you can't hold a poo, and use a discreet but powerful spray) just until some of his "face with no make-up on" tendencies come out...then you have leverage.
3) if you don't already have a cookbook, don't buy one. That's a lie (or expectation) that's hard to maintain...besides, you don't have to live with him for him to know you can't or don't cook, girl. Plus, it's 2010--are professional women still cooking for their live-in boyfriends and husbands? Burn that memo, and save your frontin for when you need a lifeline, Regis...
4) everything else: Let it fly! (p.s., I told him about your ice cream habit) and HAVE FUN! Never, in the history of girlfriends living with boyfriends was all the pressure that an exclusive living together relationship "means" magically on its own is not there with your very own built-in timer of 3 months--you are really free to experience the relationship sans pressure and then (best part) you're free to choose like a metro-card: refill or discard that puppy in the little slot thingy!
after 3 months, you'll be able to see if it's a go, a hell no, or a put $20 more dollars on this thing and let it live a little longer situation...
Loved Djibouti's comments. I was terrified to move in with my boyfriend, but it has made our relationship so much better and it's so much fun.
way better than living with roommates and better than living alone (and i loved living alone)
it's been over a year now on the co-habitating front and the poop thing still freaks me out a bit. we have two bathrooms which helps, but neither have locks on them and one of his fave funny things to do was purposely walk in on me when he knew i was going #2. i put a stop to that pretty quickly.
trust me, you are way better off living together and not doing long distance. talk about the stars being aligned (cheesy, i know)
and PS you are not a cougar! but how are you finding all these single 29 year olds? I'm 29 and all the guys my friends meet that are single are 24.
Ditto on Djibouti's comments! Except I say poop & fart all you want. And I guess technically you won't be talking to yourself if there's another set of ears in the room to hear you ramble :)
Thank you guys for your support! I am truly happy and excited to be co-habitating with my sweet and lovely Ricky.
Coco, I'm not going to poop and fart with reckless abandon. He's already washed my underwear (Day 1!) and that was as big a baby step as I can take right now.
Djibouti, I do too cook! It's just that I don't need much variety in my meals so I cook the same things over and over. I imagine for someone else it could get kind of dull. Ricky has actually cooked for me more than I've cooked for him, but I like my cooking better! So for the most part I'm going to take the reins on that one.
Saaara - I don't know how I find these youngins. Tell your single 20s friends to start saying they're 35 and maybe they'll have better luck. :)
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