Yourbabenow's question (re: previous post) answered NOW.

Q: yourbabenow said...
So you are saying that the way to a man's heart is to have lots of good sex with him until it becomes habit-forming? But what about all those years when men and women didn't have sex before marriage? Women were still able to attract men without the sex, no? And don't some torrid sex affairs just kind of peter out, while others end up lasting? What makes some survive while others die on the vine?

I guess what concerns me is that, when you are giving this man all this good sex in the beginning, you are open and vulnerable and you still don't know how it's going to end up. Know what I mean?

A: First off, that "advice" was hypothetical - I based that off of Rina's general attitude and approach towards men. But anyone who goes by the name "Yourbabenow" surely knows the importance of being someone's babe, now. Of course being someone's babe above all elese with any Joe Schmoe is probably not going to get you far down the relationship road. But we can't ignore Rina's fictional advice to never underestimate just how important regularly receiving enthusiastic sex is for men. But of course men and women need more, and without more your torrid love affair will fade and disappear.

Luckily for me, in my particular situation Larry and I were friends before we were lovers and we had mutual respect and concern for each other going for us from the beginning. We already enjoyed each other's company and had an emotional attachment to each other. So the sex was the icing on the cake, but it is icing that I take very seriously.

So, Yourbabenow, if we were to go back 50, 80 or 100 years when pre-marital sex was less common in this country, we would: a) be old spinsters since we're not married by now; b)- forget about b. We'd be old spinsters and everyone would have given up on us. Maybe we'd use our lonely spinsterhood productively like Jane Austen. Or we'd have secret lovers like Elizabeth I. In any event, our societal attitude towards marriage back then was completely different - it wasn't about marrying your soulmate. There were more practical concerns at the forefront like having kids to plow the fields or take over the business, not to mention the spinsterhood avoidance.

But now we want it all. And men, they are constantly being told that women are here to give it all. And like kids in the proverbial candy store, many (NOT all) of them are easily distracted by the new sweet treat on the shelf. Sigh. So, Yourbabenow, stay babelicious. Just choose the "your" very carefully.