The End of the Road

There are many difficult things about breaking up.  For me, the worst is that sick, sinking feeling that I may never find anyone else I like ever again.  Of course, I have had my share of heartbreaks and disappointments and sinking feelings and I have recovered every time.  I have continued to meet someone new.  And the old someone who was once everything is relegated to memory and lessons learned and fodder for another blog I contribute to (www.theblowoff.com).  But that is logic.  That’s my brain talking.  My brain is pragmatic.  The rest of me, not so much.

You have undoubtedly realized by now that Ricky and I are no more.  Our breakup took a long time and was his decision.  Oh yes, dear reader, I got dumped.  Dumpy dumped dumped.  Part one happened months ago, and we were recently reunited.  Ricky, that poor confused soul, told me as recently as a week ago that he still had feelings for me and was open to us getting back together.  Last week he spent two evenings manually laboring on my behalf – moving and assembling furniture and he bought me an ice cream cake and told me my butt looked good in a particular pair of pants and even kissed me.  Part two happened last weekend.  He made a definitive choice.  He has met his someone new and now he wants to explore the possibilities with her.  How did he put it?  That it was “worth checking out.”  Mind you, he’s known her for three weeks.  Geez Louise.  Men are too funny.  Too ridiculous and too funny.

The icing on this particular break up cake (more like a steaming pile of poo than a cake, but you don’t normally put anything on top of poo – but this poo gets topped!) is that Ricky and I are back at our old job, working together once again.  So I get to see him every day for the foreseeable future.  Hooray!  And by “hooray,” I mean “mother fuck.” The other day he was wearing a shirt that I gave him and I swear that should not be allowed.  I am going to have to dig deep and go to a very zen place to endure this.  I have no choice.  I’m very much looking forward to my someone new.